there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
