just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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