I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
