I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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