Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
