When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
