Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
