if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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