If you die in college, do you die in real life?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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