Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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