so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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