spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
