Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
