I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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