I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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