I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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