Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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