guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
