Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Someone shit on the floor
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize