You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
