carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So much rum. So many feels.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
