and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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