We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
