i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
