I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
