Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
