i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
third nipple confirmed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
