Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
