D3 body, D1 cock
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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