I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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