Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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