allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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