I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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