She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm at about main and main street
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
