Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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