Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she woke up with a sticky ear
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
