is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
