Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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