He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
