why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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