if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize