Small penises have feelings too.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
