Yo dont text me then not text me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so let's talk penis.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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