I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
