there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I came so hard my ears popped.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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