This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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