I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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