and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
