it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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