Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
