What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
