Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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