You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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