I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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