i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
