Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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