his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
