What did we do last night that was yellow?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
