big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
