Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize