I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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