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Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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