If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
