currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
