you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
