i just had sex bonerless
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
