i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
