Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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