You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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