He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize