You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
